How to Find Out Who Your Partner is Messaging on Messenger 

How to Find Out Who Your Partner is Messaging on Messenger 

Do you worry about who your partner is chatting with on Messenger? Do they hide their phone when you walk into the room, or even close out the app whenever you are around? There could be a chance they are messaging another and hiding it from you. 

If you suspect that your partner is talking to someone other than you, I’ll break down multiple ways you could try and find out if they are messaging someone else on Messenger.

1. Ask to Go on Their Phone/Messenger

One of the simplest ways you can see if your partner is chatting with another person is by asking them if you can look at their phone.

If your partner allows you to have access to their phone first place to look is their messenger. Do they have the suspected person in their recent messages or calls? Do they have this suspected person as a contact? Most importantly do not forget to check the archived messages.

A lot of people tend to forget that step, they will delete the original message but not go into the archives and delete it from there. Not only could you find out what chats they have been deleting but also this proves your partner has something to hide overall.

The archives are where you will find the things your partner is trying to hide from you.

Do not be afraid to check all forms of messenger in all the apps your partner might have. Snapchat may make it difficult since that social media is meant to delete messages and pictures sent after a certain time after viewing unless that chat or picture is saved.

Instagram is another app to look for, check out who your partner could be messaging on Instagram.

Instagram does have an archive but only if the account user activates it. If the archive is not activated on Instagram when the account user deletes a message there will be no other way to retrieve it.

2. Ask Them and Have an Honest Conversation With Them

The first step going into this should be to have a conversation with your partner. Even if the relationship is new, talk to your partner about anything.

Especially the things that are bothering you, because if you do not communicate what you are feeling it will only bottle up inside you until you explode.

When you explode that will only lead to a fight, a fight that could have been avoided if you would have just opened up to your partner.

Remember to have your conversation planned out, the last thing you need to do is bluntly excuse your partner of cheating. Explain to them exactly how they have been acting differently towards you.

If they have been on social media more than usual, tell them, and ask them if there is someone they have been chatting to. Even if your partner lies to you, or is overly defensive, you can tell by having this conversation.

You can gain a lot and also save your relationship by coming with one another. And who knows if it could all just be a misunderstanding and if not you now know where your partner stands.

3. Ask Them to Send You A Screenshot of Their Recent Chats

If talking to your partner fails, and you continue to suspect they are messaging another person besides you, ask them for a screenshot of their messages.

Not only from their phone messenger but also their chats from Instagram and Snapchat. Screenshots are an easy way to see who your partner could be chatting to.

This is also good for when you are not able to physically have their phone. If your partner decides not to send you a screenshot then you can ask them what they have to hide.

If your partner is loyal they would not have any problems sending you screenshots of their messages.

With Messenger, screenshots might not show you what the messages hold but they could show you who your partner is chatting to and how recent their conversations are.

With Snapchat and Instagram, you can also ask your partner to send a screenshot of who is viewing your stories. If this suspected person is viewing your partner’s stories there could be a good chance they are also messaging your partner.

4. Check If Who You’re Suspecting is Always Liking or Commenting on Their Social Media Such as Instagram

App messengers are a great way to see if your partner is chatting with another person, but it is not the only way to see if your partner is interested in another person.

Go onto their Instagram and look at what your partner is posting and who is liking and commenting. Is this suspected person liking all your partner’s photos? Does this suspected person comment on your partner’s photos?

Even if you do not know the suspected person you can see if people you do not know are paying your partner any attention. 

Go to the suspected person’s profile and see how your partner is reacting to their post. Is your partner liking their photos? Are they commenting on the suspected person’s post?

If your partner is actively liking and commenting on this person’s post there is a good chance your partner is chatting with the suspected person.

These are the questions you need to be asking and questions that you can find answers to by looking at the comments on your partner’s post. This is the time to start using your investigating skills.

5. Check Who They’re Chatting With on Other Apps Like Instagram and Snapchat 

Do you have access to your partner’s phone? If you do not find what you are looking for on Snapchat, check Instagram to find the person they’re messaging. If they’re on Snapchat, this might also reveal who they’re messaging

Even if your partner is sending chats and pictures through Snapchat unless your partner saves the snaps they can not be seen again.

Instagram is a great app other than Messenger to look at the chats your partner may be sending the suspected person. Unless your partner is deleting messages, their chats should be there. You can even see if this suspected person is commenting on your partner’s Instagram stories.

If your partner is chatting with another person, checking all the apps your partner uses is the best way to find out who they are chatting to and what they are chatting about. For all you know, it could be more than one person.

If communication does not work with your partner, checking their messages on other apps may give you the answers you are looking for, whether they be good or bad.

6. Make A Fake Account and Pose As Someone Else to See If He’s Loyal

When everything fails and talking is no longer an option and you feel like your partner is still chatting with someone other than you. Another option could be to create a fake account, either on Snapchat or Instagram.

Create a fake account using an identity that you know your partner would like. Follow them first and see if your partner follows this fake account back. Message your partner in a way you know they will be hooked.

If your partner is loyal, one they would not add a stranger to their social media, and two they would not engage in any form of communication they could be a form of cheating. 

If your partner falls for this fake account that is a serious red flag. If your partner not only adds but also messages this fake account do not be afraid to engage. Get all that you can out of your partner, do not waste this opportunity.

This is a chance to see how far your partner is willing to go with someone who is not you. Not only that but now you officially have all the proof you need to prove that your partner is not and will never be loyal to you.

If your partner is chatting with this fake account there is a high chance that they are chatting with others. 

At this point your partner does not want to be in a relationship, they want to be single with the comfort of a relationship.

When you discover that your partner is not loyal do not expect them to change because they want to.

How can you put trust into someone so willing to message others while they are in a relationship and hide it from their partner? If you have to make a fake account just to get some answers then you might want to rethink the whole relationship. 

David Johnson is a freelance writer with 9 years of experience writing for Techzillo and other established tech outlets like iMore. His focus and key interests are Apple and accessibility as well as consumer technology in general. Read our Editorial Guidlines and Fact Checking process.


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