How Can I See Who My Boyfriend Interacts With on Instagram?

How to See Who Your Boyfriend is Messaging on Instagram

Want to see who your boyfriend is speaking to on Instagram? There are a few surefire ways to find out. Just read through the methods below.

1. Compare His New Account’s Following to His Old Account

One thing you can do to try and see who your boyfriend is messaging on Instagram is by forcing him to make a new account. Once he makes this new account, you can then compare the new accounts that he is following his old ones.

Asking him to create a new Instagram is too questionable, so you will have to make him do so in another way. One thing that you can do is make a bunch of spam accounts.

These accounts only serve one purpose, and that is to report your boyfriend’s current account, so these spam ones do not need to have any information attached to them. Once you have created multiple accounts, use them to go and report your boyfriend’s account.

There is no limit to how often an account needs to be flagged before Instagram takes it down, so do this with as many accounts as you want and as often as you can. The more, the better.

After you have reported him, Instagram will hopefully take down your boyfriend’s account, and he will be forced to create a new one. Before it gets taken down, make sure you remember who his original account was following. He will have to make a new account because Instagram took his original one down.

As soon as he creates this new account, check to see who he is following. Compare all the girls he is following with his new account to his old one. Any girls that are celebrities or that you know should not raise any suspicions.

However, if there are any girls you have never met nor heard of, he could be cheating on you with this person. You can then ask your boyfriend who this person is and why he is following them, and he may end up outing himself as a cheater. This comparison in followers will give you a good indication of who he is messaging on Instagram.

Related: Instagram Following List Order

2. Look At Their Suggested For You

Another thing you can try to do to figure out who your boyfriend is messaging on Instagram is by making a fake Instagram account. Once you complete this fake account, do not link anything back to you.

If you do make a fake account, you need to make sure that you’re doing things to avoid someone finding out who’s behind your fake account.

Do not sync your contacts, do not sync any other forms of social media, and do not search for any accounts other than your boyfriends. Have no ties to yourself at all.

This account needs to be completely anonymous. Once you have created your new account with no details, go and follow your boyfriend. Now, you will see a suggested list of people you should follow because you follow your boyfriend.

This list will not have anything to do with you because you have added nothing to the account nor synced anything to it. So, this list is created based on your boyfriend’s account because that is the only account you are following and has any correlation to you.

The people you see in this list are based on the other Instagrams your boyfriend interacts with the most. Interactions include liking, commenting, and also messaging. This is a good sign if any accounts appear in this suggested list that you do not know or do not understand why your boyfriend would be interacting with them.

This means that they are heavily messaging these accounts, implying that they are cheating on you with these individuals. On the flip side, this is a good thing if the accounts in the suggested list are celebrities, you, or some of his close friends. This means that these are the accounts he most heavily interacts with on Instagram.

All of these accounts are people you know, or possibly even you, which means the people he is messaging are not people he would be cheating on.

3. Check Who They’ve Recently Followed

You can also check to see who your boyfriend has recently followed to try and figure out who they are messaging on Instagram. The Instagram following list is ordered in a specific way and sometimes, Instagram shows this in order so you can take your chances, but usually, it’s not in that order.

To do this, go to your boyfriend’s Instagram account and click on Following. You will now see a list of who your boyfriend is following.

This list is organized by timing, meaning that the accounts listed first are the ones they have most recently followed.

As you scroll down, the further down an account is, the longer ago your boyfriend followed them. So, to see who they have recently followed, only pay attention to the top couple accounts, as these are the people your boyfriend has recently followed.

If you recognize all of them, or they are some guy friends that your boyfriend has recently met or celebrities, then he is probably not messaging them on Instagram behind your back because there is no reason to be.

You know all of them, or maybe they are family members or are girls who have boyfriends of their own. However, if there are some accounts at the top of your boyfriend’s following list that are girls you have never met or are girls you have always been suspicious of, then there is a reason for concern.

Being at the top of their following list does not automatically mean that they are messaging them, but you should be curious as to why they have even followed them at all. You can look at the accounts of these girls you do not know and see if other accounts you know may be following them.

You can then ask the people you know if they think they would be messaging your boyfriend on Instagram or if there is some other reason that they can think of why your boyfriend decided to follow this account.

4. Ask to Go on Their Phone, Then Check

The easiest way to tell who your boyfriend is messaging on Instagram is to see his direct messaging section on Instagram. To see this, you will need to get their phone or any other device they may be logged into Instagram on.

Once you have access to this device and your boyfriend’s Instagram account, open up and click on the chat bubble icon at the top right of the Instagram home page. Once you are there, you will be able to see all of the Instagram direct messages your boyfriend has sent and received.

The ones at the top will be the most recent, and those at the bottom were sent or delivered more time ago. Now, you can directly see who your boyfriend is messaging on Instagram. If there are any unopened messages, do not open them unless you want your boyfriend to know that someone had access to his account.

Once messages are opened, you will no longer see them as unopened, so your boyfriend can quickly tell someone was reading his messages as he never read the unread ones.

If your boyfriend messages a lot of accounts and you want to see if there are specific ones you were worried about, you can search their username at the top of the screen in the search bar, so you do not have to scroll through all of your boyfriend’s messages.

Now that you can see every single account he is messaging. You can also tell if he is messaging anyone he should not be. Or you can tell if he messages people you both know and says nothing of concern in these messages.

5. Ask Them and Have an Honest Conversation with Them

One of the hardest, but the best way to figure out who your boyfriend is messaging on Instagram, is to ask him simply. This can be incredibly difficult to do as having these types of honest conversations can be pretty intimidating and also give a sign that you do not have trust in your boyfriend.

However, honesty and open discussion with your boyfriend is crucial to a healthy relationship. If you ask them if they have been messaging girls behind your back on Instagram, they will hopefully be very truthful and honest to your face.

The best possible scenario to come out of this conversation is that your boyfriend says no, and then you can discuss what has been happening that makes you worried he has been cheating on you. This will help improve your relationship as your boyfriend understands you have this fear, and you can move forward in a healthier direction.

However, your boyfriend could be honest with you and say he has been messaging girls on Instagram behind your back. While this may be heartbreaking, having him be frank to you now is better than being lied to and strung along for even longer.

If your boyfriend does lie to you and tell you that he has not been messaging girls behind your back when he has been, this can become very problematic as now you believe he is doing nothing wrong. The reality is that he is messaging girls on Instagram.

He just would not admit it to your face, which means you are being lied to again by him. So, asking them is an excellent way to find out the truth, but there is still a possibility that you will be lied to and continue to question him throughout your relationship.

6. Ask to Go on Their Laptop, Then Check

You can also access your boyfriend’s Instagram account through his laptop to see who he has been messaging. For this to work, he must be logged in on his laptop so you can have access to his Instagram account.

Ask for his laptop for another purpose, and once your boyfriend gives it to you, go to If he is logged in, you are good to go. However, you can see if he has saved his information if he is not logged in. You can just click on log in and get logged in.

Otherwise, you will not be able to see his Instagram account on his laptop. Once you have access to this device and your boyfriend’s Instagram account, open up and click on the chat bubble icon at the top right of the Instagram home page.

Once you are there, you will be able to see all of the Instagram direct messages your boyfriend has sent and received. The ones at the top will be the most recent, and those at the bottom were sent or delivered more time ago.

Now, you can see who your boyfriend is messaging on Instagram directly. Again, you can search for messages in the search bar, so you do not have to scroll through all the messages your boyfriend has sent. 

Tip: If you do decide to use search in conversation feature, you may be worried that they’ll be notified when you search for message. There’s a lot you need to know about this.

Another thing you may want to do is scroll to the top or someone’s messages or see the first ever message between them. Luckily, it’s possible to do this.

Remember, if there are unopened messages, do not open them unless you want your boyfriend to know that someone had access to his account. Since you just asked to use their laptop, your boyfriend may suspect that it was you snooping around in his direct messages.

His suspicion will lead to him asking you if you were accessing his Instagram account, and you might not be ready to confront him yet, so do not open any unread messages.

7. Check His Active Status on Instagram, Then Ask If He Was Active to See If He’s Honest

You can see when someone is active on Instagram , so by checking your boyfriend’s current status, you can find out if they are lying to you or not. You need to be aware though, that sometimes Instagram says active when someone isn’t

To check their status, open up Instagram and go to your direct messaging page. Once you are there, at the top of your screen, you will see which accounts you follow that are currently active on Instagram.

The order in which these accounts will appear is very random, so you will sadly have to scroll through until you can find your boyfriend’s Instagram account. Once you see that he is active on Instagram, this is when you can ask him if he is currently on Instagram.

If you get an honest response and he says yes, then he is most likely not messaging girls behind your back as he was willing to admit the truth.

However, if you have proof that your boyfriend is active as his profile appears in the currently active area in your messages, and he decides to lie to you and say he is not on Instagram, he is hiding something.

For some reason, your boyfriend does not want you to know he is on Instagram. While this will not confirm that he is messaging girls on the app, it does ensure that your boyfriend is lying to you about something.

You can tell him that you have proof he is currently using Instagram and make him explain why he would lie. Hopefully, your boyfriend is now truthful and confesses what he was doing that he did not want you to know about on Instagram.

8. Check If Who You’re Suspecting is Always Liking or Commenting on Their Post

There is probably that one girl that makes you question your whole relationship, and you want to know if your boyfriend is involved in her in any way. One way to try and figure out if he is doing something with the said girl is by going to her profile and seeing his interactions with her.

You can also look at his profile and see how she interacts with your boyfriend’s posts. If they like and comment on everything the other posts, this is reasonably normal Instagram behavior, but what their comments say can be a little more telling.

Suppose the words have a flirty nature or are very different from what they write on other people’s posts. In that case, this is a sign of more than just a friendship between the two.

It should be especially considered if you have always thought that your boyfriend and this girl have been doing something behind your back besides messaging each other on Instagram.

There is not much to read into if they are doing something that is unlike their normal Instagram behavior. However, if they just like each other’s posts and commenting some emojis from time to time, this does not mean that they are doing something else.

They are probably just friends who want to interact with each other on Instagram. You can always ask your boyfriend to stop liking and commenting on her posts. If your boyfriend continues to do so after you have asked him not to, something may be behind your back.

9. Check Who They’re Chatting With on Other Apps Like Messenger

Apps such as Twitter, Snapchat, Facebook Messenger, and virtually any other social media app also include a form of messaging. You can use these other social media apps to fnd out if your boyfriend is messaging girls on Instagram.

Chances are, if your boyfriend is messaging girls on these apps, he is also messaging girls on Instagram. If you have access to any of these apps, log into them. Once you have access to your boyfriend’s account, go to the messaging section.

Tip: There are also other ways to find out if he’s chatting to others on Messenger.

If he is only messaging girls you know and it is not unusual for him to be talking to, then he is most likely not messaging any girls he should not be on Instagram. However, if there are messages with girls you have never heard of or girls you have asked him not to talk to, he may also be messaging them on Instagram.

It is safe to assume if he is being shady on these apps, he is being shady on Instagram too. However, not messaging girls on other social media apps does not mean he is not using Instagram to message girls.

It just means he does not use other apps to message girls. He can still be using Instagram to talk to girls behind your back.

10. Make A Fake Account and Pose As Someone Else to See If He’s Loyal

Another way you can find out if your boyfriend is messaging girls on Instagram is by making a fake account. With this simulated account, you can test your boyfriend’s loyalty. Make sure you do not add any details to your profile that would make your boyfriend suspect it is you.

Do not add a picture of yourself, do not follow yourself, and do not link any other social media to this account. Follow his profile and start to test his loyalty. Send him innocent messages like asking him about school or his hobbies, and once he starts to respond, take it up a notch.

Start to send more flirty messages and ask him to add you on other apps. Once he begins to agree and wants to get to know you more, ask him about a girlfriend.

If he is honest and says he does have a girlfriend, he is probably just messaging your fake profile innocently and with no ulterior motives. However, if he lies and says he does not have a girlfriend, he has no loyalty to you.

He is willing to meet up with a random girl under the pretenses that you are not dating him, so he is messaging her with the desire to cheat on you. Your boyfriend is not loyal to you, and you have just proved it.

David Johnson is a freelance writer with 9 years of experience writing for Techzillo and other established tech outlets like iMore. His focus and key interests are Apple and accessibility as well as consumer technology in general. Read our Editorial Guidlines and Fact Checking process.


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